The Adventures of Frankie – 7 – School Sucks

“FRANCIS, get down here!” After three times of asking nicely, Annette, Frankie’s mom, deferred to his father to get him downstairs for breakfast.

“What’s wrong honey?” she asked as he plopped down next to his younger brother.

“I hate school,” Frankie pouted.

“Now Frankie, this is your first day of middle school, how can you say that already? I loved middle school.”

“Yeah, right. Grade school was bad enough, now I’ll have eight different classes. That’s eight times today kids’ll laugh at me when the teacher calls out ‘Francis Dwyer’ and they see that I’m a boy. WITH A GIRLS NAME!”

Dad scowled at his raised voice.

Turning back to his mother, “What were you thinking when you came up with Francis? Did you want a girl?”

Dad was laughing now, “No. Back when we were kids your mom was in love with Frankie Avalon and his real name was Francis.”

“HIM? Great, so I’m named after some dude from two centuries ago that mom goes crazy over whenever old beach party movies come on TV.”

“Yup,” his dad leaned over to peck his mom on the cheek, “And I married Annette.”

She pumped a hand under her imaginary puffed up hair as she leaned in to accept her husband’s display of affection.

“Ew gross,” his little brother covered his eyes.

Paulette slid into the seat next to Frankie before Ronnie could get there. The bus was full so he would have to stand all the way to school. She shot him an evil grin, rolled her eyes then scooted in to make room. When they got off the bus, Scrawny pointed them in the direction of the seventh-graders classrooms then headed off with the other eighth graders. Frankie said goodbye to Paulette and took a deep breath before stepping into his first class. They would meet up again for the last two classes of the day.

“Here it comes,” he thought to himself. The teacher had called role for the A’s, B’s, and C’s.

“Francis Dwyer.”

One kid in the back laughed, that bully from down by the river. It was Paulette’s friend Rita’s big jerk brother Brad. The teacher didn’t even see Frankie’s hand in the air as she scanned the room.

Frankie said it quietly at first then cleared his throat and raised his voice, “Frankie, my name is Frankie.” Even before finishing saying his name a second time his volume lowered. He could feel his face turning red, he thought it might explode. In fact, he half wished it would. It took almost a full minute for the teacher to quiet the laughter before finishing roll.

By the time lunch rolled around, Frankie was ready to crawl in a hole and die. Rita’s brother yelled out from the lunch line. He pretended to pay no attention. All he wanted to do was find a place in the corner and eat the peanut butter and jelly sandwich his mom no doubt made for him. That’s when he spotted Scrawny waving from across the crowded room. Another friendly surprise awaited him in his brown paper bag; mom packed a bag of Doritos and a handful of Oreo Double Stuff!

With only three more classes left, Frankie was feeling a little more confident. Ronnie suggested he blurt out his name before the teacher could read it out loud. With all the same kids in the next class, including that bully from down by the river, he had to give it a try. Then the last two classes of the day it just didn’t matter, he’d be there with Paulette.

Scrawny’s plan worked! Even Rita’s jerk faced brother was caught off guard. But he made up for that in the next class. Frankie was too busy passing notes with Paulette to beat the teacher to the punch. On top of that, this teacher was calling out middle names as well.

“Francis Eugene Dwyer.”

Jerk face cupped his hands and yelled from the back corner of the room, “That’s FUD!” The room erupted in laughter. The teacher was going to have a heck of a time bringing this under control.

Paulette spun in her chair so quickly that it screeched on the freshly waxed floor. Surely that was going to leave a mark, four to be exact. The glare she shot directly at her best friend’s brother rocked him back in his chair. All attention diverted to the bully, his so called friends let out a collective, “Ooo.”

At the end of class, Paulette collected her things and rushed out before Frankie could say a word. When he got to his next class she was talking with the teacher. This time when role was called, Frankie was ready. Just as he went to blurt out his name he caught a glimpse of Paulette shaking her head.

“Frankie Dwyer,” the teacher called.

When he walked in the door after school his mom asked about his day to which he replied, “It started out not so great but overall it was okay, a pretty good day. Oh yeah, thanks for the Oreos!”